


The Cut of a Thousand Cherry Blossoms

by junko



Series: the distance between us [11]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-25
Updated: 2012-04-25
Packaged: 2017-11-04 07:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji is finally ready, but his captain is a difficult man to love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cut of a Thousand Cherry Blossoms

**Author's Note:**

> Continues "The Distance Between Us," though, it's not entirely necessary to have read all the previous installments.

 

Renji lay in Byakuya’s arms for a long time. He leaned into his captain’s chest and breathed in Byakuya’s scent -- that amazing combination of something subtly floral and a rich, manly scent.

Byakuya held him close enough that he could feel his heart beating. The captain’s skin was so cool and smooth, but not like a woman’s at all – not with those compact muscles and taut skin. Fingers stroked the line from Renji’s neck to his shoulder, while Byakuya continued to murmur nonsense words of comfort punctuated with the occasional, “you big idiot.”

Renji could almost drift to sleep, but for the fact that his mind churned, reeling from the constant assault on his senses—Byakuya’s voice, his body, his hair, his smell, his spiritual pressure, all of it… so close, wrapped around him. Renji was almost afraid to move, in case he broke the spell that held them together this long.

“Are you still awake?” Byakuya asked.

“Yeah,” Renji said.

“Would you allow me to remove your hair tie? It’s just… your hair is so bushy. It tickles and it’s poking me in the eye.”

“Oh, uh, sure,” he said, though truthfully, Renji always felt a little defenseless and exposed with his hair down. Yet… he’d originally come here to offer himself in a very new, extremely vulnerable way. He should probably get used to relaxing his guard, letting go.

Byakuya, however, seemed to struggle to undo the tie. “What is this horrible thing you’ve put in your hair? Something out of a rag bin?”  
That was precisely what it was. Renji had a deal with the quartermaster’s seamstress to purchase her left over and torn bits of shihakushô, the shinigami uniform. That meant they were silk, but none of them were large enough strips to be worth much. He paid her very little for them, but in exchange she could be satisfied that nothing of that honorable fabric went to waste.

Finally all the knots came loose as did Renji’s hair. He wasn’t sure how this was better, since his hair was so thick and unstyled that it now hung in unruly strands. At least it wasn’t falling into his face as usual; he’d kept his head tucked under Byakuya’s chin.

Byakuya tossed the tie to the floor with a grunt of disgust. “Remind me to buy you something nicer.”

The last thing he needed was a hairpiece worth a king’s ransom like those frightening kenseikan of Byakuya’s. “Don’t,” Renji said firmly, finally pulling up from Byakuya’s chest to look him in the eye. “I’ll only wreck it. Or lose it. Instantly. I went through three this week alone. Why do you think I use scraps?”

“Hmmm, excellent point,” Byakuya said with a small chuckle.

Renji found his heart actually beating faster at the sound of Byakuya’s laughter – such a rare and precious thing – and that smile, holy shit! He was already beautiful grumpy and stern; Byakuya was _divine_ happy.

Was this was a simple smile did to him?

Damn it all, he _was_ in love.

“What’s this expression all of a sudden?” Byakuya asked, his fingertips lightly brushing along Renji’s eyebrows as though trying to nudge them apart, encourage them to relax. “Have you been hiding from me because you’re angry?”

“What? No,” Renji said quickly, trying to untense his frown. “That’s my thinking face.”

“This thinking of yours is a dangerous thing. It nearly killed my bed earlier.”

Right. Renji had been trying to figure out if Byakuya had other lovers after their first night together and had nearly torn the sheets he’d been changing. “That why I try not to do it very often,” Renji said.

Byakuya gave him a sly smile. His fingers seemed unwilling to leave Renji’s face, they traced down his hairline to cheekbones. Shivers of pleasure slid down Renji’s spine to settle somewhere deeper. Byakuya’s voice was little more than a low purr, “Yes, that’s the act, isn’t it? I’m beginning to suspect that you play a lot dumber than you are.”

“If you say so,” Renji said. “But I did show up here drunk with… uh, _mischief_ on my mind.”

“Which turned out to be a clever ploy,” Byakuya noted. Fingers lightly played with the short hairs of Renji’s sideburns for a moment before continuing down to jaw line. “Truthfully, I’ve been struggling to come up with a way to get you here. My position makes it difficult to ask least it be interpreted as a command.”

Plus, Renji knew Byakuya’s other problem was _asking_ at all. Lord Kuchiki wouldn’t do anything even vaguely beneath his dignity, and begging for attention or sex… well. Now Renji could see exactly how smart Captain Kyōraku’s advice had actually been: _just show up._ He’d have to be sure to do that from now on. Getting the two of them together was clearly his responsibility, and now that Renji knew it, he’d happily shoulder that duty.

Byakuya continued, “It is true that the vomiting nearly put me off, but, then, of course, how could I resist such lovely poetry?” His eyes were downcast and he smiled lightly, though clearly struggling to contain the depth of his amusement. Fingers had found their way down to the hollow of Renji’s throat, and then followed the line of his collar bone, “Sheer genius.”

Renji could hardly take full credit for that either. The words were his, but the idea was Zabimaru’s. “Yeah, that’s me all right,” Renji snorted, “a damn prodigy of romance.”  
“And yet untried in so many ways,” Byakuya said, capturing Renji’s lips with his own. Both of Byakuya’s hands spread across Renji’s chest, leaving Renji the opportunity to get his own on either side of Byakuya’s face and then into that luxurious hair.

It surprised Renji how much he enjoyed kissing Byakuya. Normally, he wasn’t much for a lot of foreplay. He tended to see all the messing around as an irritating barrier to the good stuff, the main action. Now, he felt like he could explore the feeling of Byakuya’s lips forever. He even risked opening his mouth a little, inviting Byakuya to enter. It went against Renji’s nature to wait hopefully, but Byakuya didn’t hesitate. With a passion that nearly took Renji’s breath away, Byakuya’s tongue pressed in deeply.

He chased Byakuya’s tongue around the inside of his mouth. Byakuya, of course, tasted of something fine, like green tea with a hint of something sweet. Of course, Renji wondered how Byakuya could stand the sour taste of him, given how sick he’d been moments ago.

Thoughts evaporated from his mind as Byakuya’s hand was on the move again. It slipped along Renji’s ribs, and then made a slow, tantalizing sweep around his waist. When fingers brushed along the contours of his ass, Renji tensed. Unconsciously straightening, he pulled himself from their kiss.

“Not ready yet?” Byakuya asked quietly, his eyes averted and his hand still.

Damn it all, was Zaraki right about him? Was he going to fight despite his best intentions, his deepest desires?

“No, I’m good,” Renji said, sounding like the biggest liar, even to his own ears. He shook his head at himself. “Okay, truth? I don’t know. Honestly, I wish I were a little less sober.”

“We could start. You could tell me if you need to stop,” Byakuya said, still not looking at him.

“You know me better than that, don’t you, captain? If we start, we finish.”

“So do we?”

“Yes,” Renji managed with conviction. “But swear you won’t stop even if I fight you.”

“I can’t make a promise like that.” Byakuya looked up at him then, gray eyes reflecting in the moonlight.

“You have to,” Renji said. “I want this. A lot. It’s just… I’m not sure I can… be taken without a fight.”

“I told you I won’t hurt you like that, here, in the bedroom.”

“I told you I don’t mind,” Renji said. “Anyway, I know for a fact it hurt a lot more when you stopped, and….” He couldn’t finish. How could he find words for how empty he’d felt when Byakuya had walked away, how… unworthy? “Just don’t stop, okay?”

Byakuya seemed to consider the proposal for a long moment. Absently, his fingers traced the tattoos on Renji’s hip. “Very well,” he said at last. He shifted out from under Renji’s arms. Kneeling on the mattress, Byakuya began to untie his dressing gown. “However, I won’t abide any more broken furniture. As much as you may enjoy it, I’m not going to wrestle you. Not tonight, at any rate,” he said with another one of those sly smiles that made Renji’s heart skip a little. But what Byakuya said next nearly stopped Renji’s heart cold. He said, “If you’re serious about submitting, you will do it tied to the bed.”

“Wha..?” The blood drained from Renji’s face at the thought, but, at the same moment, his heart hammered like a jackrabbit. His mind jittered with imagination. The only other noise he managed sounded a bit like a choke.

“Restrained, you’ll be much easier to control and you will do less damage,” the captain continued calmly, as if explaining a simple practice yard drill. Byakuya had the silk tie in his hand and his gaze pinned Renji more securely than any bonds, “Do you agree to the terms?”

Truthfully, the idea scared Renji a bit. He’d been preparing for a little vulnerability, but utter helplessness… that was something else entirely. He might have even considered saying no, but for the way Byakuya’s robe had fallen open. The moonlight caressed the hard lines and flat planes of a perfect body, and Renji could see that his captain-- despite cold, logical words and an unemotional expression-- was aroused by the idea.

_He wants me; then let him have me._ He met Byakuya’s gaze steadily. Clear and strong, Renji said, “Yes.”

Though he had to grit his teeth, he let Byakuya take hold of one of his wrists and bring it up the edge of the headboard. Quick, expert twists secured it tightly. Renji managed not to make any sounds during the process, but he couldn’t help a noise of protest when Byakuya left the bed.

Over his shoulder, Byakuya smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back. I just need to borrow your obi.”  
Bound with his own uniform tie? With effort, Renji suppressed a growl.

Byakuya’s feet were soft pads on tatami, and he crouched next to the pile of clothes Renji had left at the door. Renji propped himself up with his free arm to watch anxiously as Byakuya sorted through his things.

Byakuya rested a hand on the wall near where Zabimaru, Renji’s zanpaktō leaned, as though to support himself in his search. Suddenly, he looked up sharply. His eyes seemed to focus on Zabimaru. He stood stock still for several moments. Renji was about to ask if something was wrong, when Byakuya stood up. He’d slung the obi over his shoulder and picked up Zabimaru.

“Apparently,” Byakuya said dryly, as he came around to the other side of the bed. “Your zanpaktō wishes to be closer.”

Byakuya held Zabimaru carefully, almost reverently, in open palms. Just as deliberately, he gently propped the sword up against the wall.

“Give me your other hand,” Byakuya said, settling on the edge of the bed. “We’ll see if this will satisfy you both.”

With a steeling breath, Renji lay on his back and offered his hand. Byakuya took it and just as swiftly as before lashed Renji’s wrist to the wooden frame. His arms spread eagle and completely immobilized, Renji let out a small moan.

Leaning over, Byakuya smoothed the hair from Renji’s forehead. “Yes,” he said softly. “This will be very hard for you. But, you see,” he jerked his chin to indicate the side of the bed where Zabimaru stood, “you can reach him if you need.”

Renji found that if he stretched his fingers out, they could just brush the sheath of his zanpaktō. Warm support emanated from Zabimaru and Renji relaxed a little.

Byakuya watched their interaction intently. “Never before has another’s zanpaktō chosen to speak with me,” he said, still running fingers through Renji’s hair, soothingly. “That was… unsettling. Yet, I’m impressed that they love you so and trust me to listen. I will do my best to live up to their expectations.” Byakuya dipped closer and caught Renji’s lips in his own. His kissed him long and deeply. When he pulled away, he said, “And yours.”

Byakuya sat back and seemed to be drinking in the sight of Renji, who, the moment Byakuya pulled away, tried to reach for him, only to be held back by the restraints. The bed frame creaked.

When Byakuya stood up again, Renji tried to twist to grab him with his leg. But Byakuya evaded him easily. “One more thing,” he said. There was a slight tease in Byakuya’s voice, and Renji got the impression that his captain enjoyed prolonging his suffering. It was good that he couldn’t move, or he’d just pounce and things would be over in a second. Byakuya got something from his dresser. Even in the dark, Renji recognized the jade container. “I like to have everything ready before we begin in earnest.”

Setting the container on the storage bench at the foot of the bed, Byakuya removed his robe. Taking the time to fold it, he set it carefully aside before crawling onto the bed to lean over Renji.

Starting at Renji’s forehead, Byakuya kissed at licked the lines of his tattoos. Moving downward, he kissed the tip of Renji’s nose, nipped at his lips, and then moved onto his neck. The progression was torturously slow and exquisite as the captain’s lips and tongue made their way from shoulder to shoulder, pausing at nipples to bite and tease.

Renji gasped for breath, his body quivering like a cherry blossom in the breeze. No one had ever taken this kind of time with him, and the attention was driving him insane. He was hard and straining already, and Byakuya was only part way down his ribs.

The captain’s lips seemed to go everywhere but where Renji wanted most. He started to whimper, pushing against the restraints hard.

Byakuya cruelly ignored his need, but instead lifted his legs to kiss along the tattoos there.

Renji tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut trying not to cry out in frustration. His eyes flew open when he felt the slight pressure of Byakuya’s fingers slick with lube at his hole. They teased there, as everywhere. Despite himself, Renji pushed against them. He even lifted his spread legs more and allowed himself a plaintive moan.

“Such a magnificent specimen,” Byakuya murmured, his fingers still taunting and teasing. “So eager.”

If Renji’s wrists weren’t pinned down, he would have grabbed Byakuya and shoved him into him. He tried to express this desire, but nothing coherent came out--only an animalistic groan.

Long after Renji would have begged for mercy, Byakuya finally flipped his hips even further back and entered him. There was pain, but so much pleasure that Renji came hard.

Byakuya thrusts pounded him to the headboard. Byakuya moaned, his usually blank expression melting into something much more intense. Spiritual pressure suddenly swirled around them, causing the furniture to rattle.

Renji bucked up into the thrusts just to hear Byakuya’s gasps and to see his eyes widen and his mouth form a perfect little “o.” Renji desperately wanted to reach for Byakuya, to kiss or hold him, but the silk held him fast. Byakuya grew more frantic, until finally he was spent. The reistsu spiked sharply, nearly crushing the air from Renji’s lungs.

Then Byakuya slid out and collapsed, sprawling against his chest. His arms ached to hold Byakuya, stoke his ebony hair. They lay together panting.

“I can’t feel my fingers,” Renji said once he’d caught his breath. “Untie me now.”

Byakuya lifted a hand and Renji sensed a sudden swell of kidō. “Shhhh,” he said, as his hand came down over Renji’s face. Renji felt the forced slumber spell drag him down into unconsciousness.

 

#

“Wake up.”

At some point Byakuya must have freed him because Renji woke up lying on his side. When he tried moving, however, his entire body felt like it was on fire, every muscle felt stretched and pulled. “Ow,” he said, flopping back down and closing his eyes.

“You have to get up.”

Renji cracked open one eye. “It’s still dark,” he noted, irritated.

“Yes,” Byakuya said. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to Renji, looking out the door at the setting moon. It was large and yellow on the horizon, casting its pale light on the titled roofs of the Seireitei . Byakuya had gotten dressed and wore a light purple robe brocaded with large, pink wild rose blooms. “But you can’t be here when the rest of the Division awakes.”

Renji buried his face in the pillow. “Forget it. I’m not leaving,” he murmured. “This is my side of the bed now.”

Byakuya sighed. Turning to look at him, he rested a hand lightly on Renji’s shoulder. “Ten more minutes. Then I must insist.”

“Yeah, I know,” Renji said. It’s not like he didn’t understand. In the morning light they would be commander and subordinate again. With Byakuya there was no room for any implication of impropriety and the last thing either of them wanted was someone else to suggest fraternization.

With a groan, Renji swung his feet off the bed and pulled himself upright. He sat gingerly on the edge of the mattress. Shit. He felt like he’d gone ten rounds with Kenpachi Zaraki.

Instead, it had been just _one_ with Byakuya Kuchiki.

Damn.

A smile played at the edge of his lip. He glanced over at Byakuya, hoping to catch a hint of that passionate man he’d revealed only hours ago. But, there was nothing, Byakuya’s eyes wouldn’t meet his, and instead stared resolutely away, cold and distant again.

_Time to go, and don’t expect a good-bye kiss either_. Renji hauled himself to his feet. It didn’t help that he had the beginnings of wicked hangover on top of everything else. Renji scrubbed his forehead, pulling the hair from his eyes. The ring of bruises around his wrist was visible even in the moonlight. Even better, he seemed to have a matching set.

He grabbed Zabimaru from where it’d been propped beside the bed. Stomping heavily across the floor, Renji picked up his clothes. Despite protesting muscles, he shouldered into the white shitagi, under shirt. It was long enough to cover him for the short walk back to his own quarters. The rest he just scooped into his arms to deal with later.

At the door, he paused. He wanted to say something, anything that would acknowledge what had passed between them. How amazing it had been, how much he wanted to do it again, how he’d discovered that actually he didn’t care what they did as long as they were together.... Instead, he just stared at the way the pale light caressed the regal profile of his captain’s indifferent, remote face for a long time. Then Renji shrugged, “Uh, yeah. Okay. Bye.”

Even though he hoped and waited for a response of any kind, Byakuya said nothing as Renji walked away.

 

#

 

Renji lay on his own bed unable to go back to sleep. Sparrows twittered noisily in the eaves heralding a sunrise that was still no more than a lightening turquoise sky. The sentō wouldn’t be open to the public for hours, and he couldn’t even harass the quartermaster for a new obi until after breakfast.

“This sucks,” he told Zabimaru, whom he still held in his hand. He’d thrown his clothes into the corner, but had collapsed with the zanpaktō onto his narrow cot. Staring at the ceiling, Renji felt every ache, but in particular, the strange emptiness deep inside that was somehow more than physical.

_An excellent lover, difficult to love,_ came a quiet hiss.

_Senbonzakura is a thousand blades with the appearance of beauty. Not a good conversationalist either_ , said the deeper voice.

Renji snorted a laugh. “You tried to talk to Senbonzakura? You’re braver than me by far.”

_He will cut us. But he is still worth pursuing._

“Is he?” Renji asked.

_Yes._


End file.
